Oh Cabby

With the sheer volume of top class rugby going on, it is understandable if one were to get a little distracted from other important issues. No, I'm not talking about work and school or Israel but rather perhaps what Craig Davidson is doing with himself these days or whether Sean Fitzpatrick has been murdered yet. One particular individual who many of you must battle to get out of your thoughts and prayers is Cabous van der Westhuizen. He is alive, yes. Well in a sort of 'oh my god look honey its Keith Richards' sort of alive. His status amongst the living shouldn't however spare Cabby from your prayers and he could in fact probably use a bit more your well-wishing.

Cabous was born in Cape Town in 1965 (no, not 1695) and upon birth was immediately mistaken for either a withered tobacco leaf or Benjamin Button. After studying in Stellenbosch he was signed up by what was then the Transvaal Lions for whom he galloped around on 40 occasions. In 1992 Cabby moved to Durban to play for the Sharks. He was a truly scrumptious try-scorer and amassed a monumental 90 tries in 128 games for the Durban outfit. Cabby still holds the Sharks' records for the most career tries, most tries in a season (28), most tries in a Currie Cup season (13) and most tries in a match (4). 

No mere Currie Cup player was Cabous, who actually played 16 games for the Springboks but was not included in the winning 1995 World Cup squad. Cabby is unable to recall the World Cup without shedding a few tears. This does, however have nothing to do with the Springboks winning or the late Nelson Mandela's emotive heroics, nor even due to the travesty that was 'Invictus' but rather because it was Pieter Hendriks and not he who was able to throw down against the Canadians with 'Bullet' Dalton.

Cabby's career ended in 1999 and will be remembered by Sharks' players since for being one of the pioneers of the idea that every retired Natal player should open a restaurant in Umhlanga. Cabby decided that a sushi spot was a good idea for an Afrikaner from the Cape and he wasn't wrong with both "SoSushi" and "Sumo's Sushi Bar" proving big hits in Durban (which is really like saying that the Fourways Keg is big in uh Fourways). The confines of Durban proved too much for the transient Cabous who decided that in 2008, Mauritius was the place for him. I have it on first hand evidence that Cabous just oozes crusty beach vibes. Apparently your car will get less salt damage parked in the sea itself than near Cabous.

In Mauritius, Cabby is the proud owner of the Beach House Restaurant and Bar and supposedly lives off a combination of rum and underage tourists. Cabby does give back to the local community and is involved with a local rugby club called the Northern Pirates. He is also a member of the Anti-Drug Squad in Grand Bay but I get the impression that the organisation is something of a misnomer.

Cabous is on the left (fair mistake to think Paul Sprenger
[right] matches the description above)

In all seriousness, Cabby does appear to be a very likeable guy and any sour grapes come from behind a desk in Sandton knowing that he is probably limboing his hips away at this very moment with a coconut in one hand and whatever is foolish enough to get close in the other. It must be said; one cannot think about Cabous without drifting off with a smile on one's face to a simpler time where long-haired wings didn't just come Australia and of a player that was all wheels and gees who personified nineties Natal rugby.

Cheers Cabby. You are the best.

References include: www.mauritius-expatriate.blogspot.com, www.supersport.com, www.imademostofthisup.org  

Super Rugby Form XV

As the round-robin stage of Super Rugby nears its end, it's time to have a look at which players have stood up and performed the best in their respective position. The rules for selection are that a player will be considered for the position in which he has appeared this season and not where he could possibly fit. That will eradicate the chance of putting Bismarck at centre or Francois Steyn at prop much to all of your disappointment I'm sure.

Looshead Prop: Scott Sio and Pek Cowan have been solid for the Brumbies and Force, respectively as has Wyatt Crockett for the 'Saders but my pick here goes to the Beast. Tendai has been mightily impressive this year in the scrum and in the loose and has sometimes even tried to get across the advantage line rather than just fall over when he gets there.

Hooker: Dane Coles and Adriaan Strauss pop up as contenders but neither have had consistently stellar years in 2014. Unfortunately for any perception of bias people may hold for me, the winner just has to be Bismarck du Plessis. Sure he is abrasive and a little petulant at times but he is the best hooker in the world and has been in this year's Super Rugby competition.

Tighthead Prop:  Pat Cilliers. Before you click away, I am joking. Charlie Faumuina has been top for the Blues but Kieran Longbottom has been a quiet and effective performer for what has been a delightful season for the Force. They aren't coming last.

Locks: There have been a number of exciting new bean poles in Super Rugby this year with Stephan Lewies and Patrick Tuipolotu both earning international call-ups. Sam Whitelock and Brodie Retalick have been great and Will Skelton has added serious muscle to the 'Tahs but it's his team mate good old rumbling tumbling doesn't usually do much of anything Kane Douglas and fellow Aussie, Luke Jones of the Rebels who get my picks.

Flanks: There has been no shortage of top performing loosies this season with the likes of Lappies Labuschagne, Faifili Levave and Peter Saili putting in good shifts for their teams at blind side but my number 6 (blindside flank for the rest of the world except South Africa bizarrely) is the much-maligned Dave Dennis of the Waratahs. On the openside it just has to be Michael Hooper. Jack Lam has stepped up in the face of the challenge that is Ardie Savea and Jaco Kriel and Heinrich Brussow have been real menschen but Hooper has been the best of the lot.

Number Eight: If it weren't for injury-enforced absence, Kieran Read would have this spot nailed but Jerome Kaino has been nothing short of impossible to deal with since his return for the Blues. JK is a tremendous athlete and is looking good to reclaim his starting All Black spot, although he will probably revert to the side of the scrum. He is to play Bane is the next batman movie.

Scrumhalf: Cobus Reinach has been great for the Sharks and will be disappointed to have been overlooked by Heyneke Meyer. Aaron Smith has been good for the Highlanders as has Nic White for the Brumbies but my pick goes to new boy Faf de Klerk. He has shown mighty enthusiasm and quality for the Lions this year and he looks like Nico Rosberg.

Flyhalf: Another Lion, Marnitz Boshoff arrived with a real bang this season and has taken over Morne Steyn's role as the drop-kicking bitch. Colin Slade has played well but the fight is between Beauden Barrett and Bernard Foley. Barrett takes it over the Foley for me as Beauden has offered more of a rounded game.

Centres: I'm quite certain that I am not the only one who has had Damian de Allende and Malakai Fekitoa in his fantasy side for the majority of the season and although their inclusion may have been initially due to cost, they have earned their spots with brilliant performances both deserving of international call-ups. Honourable mentions include Ryan Crotty, Ma'a Nonu and Jan Serfontein. Oh and lest we forget Waylon Murray who is apparently at the Bulls.

Wings: Julian Savea is the number 11. No doubts there. Jonny McNichol has crossed over for a few good tries, Charles Piutau was looking deadly prior to injury, Willie le Roux has had a very good year and Lolagi Visinia has been exciting in recent weeks but my prize goes to Mr Tumnus himself: Richard Buckman for his tireless and fruitful performances for the Highlanders.

Fullback: This is tougher to call than a blind man having a dig at Quizup. If I were Steve Hansen, I'd just chuck Ben Smith on the wing but rules are rules and he has to compete with Israel Folau for the fullback spot. Issy has had his injuries which should rule him out but he has been truly indomitable when he has featured. Ben Smith is class and there are no doubts there but Folau is a phenom of Sonny-Bill's ilk and he takes the cake and eats it. Jason Woodward deserves a mention but unfortunately he is competing with the best.

ete with

Who be the new DC?

New Zealand rugby, despite its enormous success over the last, well ever, has had its fair share of issues. 2011 marked a pivotal moment in their history as they finally broke their World Cup hoodoo pipping the (we're comfortable with our sexuality) French in a helluva tense final. Prior to that, though, there was an air of vulnerability mixed in with their imposing aura. One area where the All Blacks have been oh so steady, however is at the position of fly half. Funny that Dan Carter didn't actually feature for the majority of the World Cup with Stephen Donald arriving to finish the job after being interrupted from his morning session with his favourite sheep Fiona to knock over the winning penalty wearing Frodo Baggins' replica All Black jersey. DC has been the best number 10 in world rugby for ages and although he hasn't actually retired he isn’t currently available.

The question remains as to who is the next All Black starting pivot? Aside from France, most international sides aim to decide on one player to have the role with the obvious room for maneuvering if things don't work out. The Frogs, as is their style, adopt a different approach flitting between number 10s like David Moyes' mind about whether there is indeed light at the end his nightmarish Manchester tunnel. The All Blacks, as is the unfortunate nature of their incredible depth, have a number of strong candidates for the role.

Aaron Cruden probably entered Super Rugby this season as the favourite for the spot. If anyone, he was the incumbent but would have known that a challenge stiffer than Andy Murray's mom's lip would come from Beauden Barrett. Cruden suffered a big set-back due to injury and his return to the Chiefs couldn’t have come at a worse time. The Chiefs have slumped badly in recent weeks. Their playoff hopes remain alive by virtue of the fact that the international window is upon us allowing Dave Rennie to rally his troops but where the team benefits from timing, its All Black hopefuls do not. Cruden is not the only Chief left pondering his chances of making the starting 15 with Liam Messam, Sam Cane and Tawera Kerr-Barlow coming off sub-par form.

Beauden Barrett has been sensational this season. He has improved the consistency of his general play and his kicking, both out of hand and from the tee is basically beyond reproach. Cruden has more experience for the All Blacks and is a truly talented player but I would expect Beaudy to get the nod for the first test against England this coming weekend over Cruden and the resurgent Colin Slade.

There's no one like Jean

If eighteen months ago I was told that losing Jean de Villiers for the 2014 June internationals would be a major setback for the Springboks I would have politely advised the teller that in the same vain it is a major setback that Mark Andrews has not made himself available for selection. De Villiers looked well beyond international level but praise must be given where it is due. Heyneke Meyer showed faith in de Villiers and was richly rewarded. Not only he, but Alistair Coetzee has benefitted from a rejuvenated player that is back to his signature-celebrating best (thank God that seems to have passed).

The issue his absence presents is not only who will don the number 12 jersey for the Springboks in the upcoming run of fixtures but who will lead the side. The Boks do appear safe for cover at centre as Sharks lock Stephan Lewies has been called up in de Villiers' stead. Now Lewies hasn't featured at centre for the Sharks this season nor has he even been allowed to hold a tackle bag for the backs in practice but we at ReRugby have an inside source that can guarantee that Lewies was once seen sucking air out on the wing during a game of touch in grade 5. Lewies has also been known to frequent Gateway Centre in Umhlanga so all looks well.

Although the June internationals are hardly pivotal in terms of results and silverware they prove a useful gauge for the Rugby Championship and, given the proximity of the IRB World Cup, take on an extra importance this year. South African rugby supporters aren't the most forgiving bunch at the best of times and Mr Meyer will know that anything but a 100% win record on home soil will be a failure. So, who just are the contenders to lead out the Bokke? Heyneke Meyer has dispelled the option of rotating the captaincy and will look to give the job to the same player for all four matches where the Springboks will feature against the World XV, Wales on two occasions, and Scotland. Meyer has also assured us humble public that whoever is chosen will be replaced by de Villiers upon his return so there is not necessarily any long-term view on the choice.

The first option proves quite a conundrum: Victor Matfield. Yes, it is true that Matfield who was dazzling the South African public with his commentating acumen this very year is not only back in the Springbok fold but is a frontrunner to lead the Bokke out onto the field during these internationals. My God! Sure, the Boks are slightly Kate Mossish (a bit thin) on the locking front, especially after Pieter-Steph du Toit's injury, but Victor Matfield? In his defence (not about his defence), he hasn’t actually been that bad for the Bulls this season. He leads the Super Rugby stats for lineout wins which is an enviable and desirous stat to have for a lock to have but beanpole prowess shouldn't be the only item in a Springbok second-rower's bag of tricks. His general play in the loose and around the fringes, as he has demonstrated over the years, shows an aversion to the aggressive stuff that would make Tinkerbelle look like Achilles. There is no question that Matfield brings unrivaled experience and leadership to the team and does appear to have maintained at least a steady level of fitness in his old age but is he a player of Springbok quality? Arguably what he brings in terms of experience and know-how is what the team may need given the high number of young players in the squad. Can he add this from the bench or just in training? Yes, but Meyer will want on-field leadership from a player who will start each match. Matfield may just be the option.

Bismarck du Plessis is a strong choice. Bissy has captained the Sharks well this season and has maintained his physical, domineering self with the added responsibility. He has been known to lapse into a state of blind rage but that is probably still directed at his agent for allowing him to appear in the 'pump by die dam pump' advert. In my mind, Bismarck is South Africa's best player. Adriaan Strauss is good, yes, but Bissy is simply too strong a force. Strauss has also been put forward as a possibility to lead the Boks but in truth the likelihood of Meyer rotating the two may actually rule them both out of the running. Bismarck is an option to take over the captaincy from de Villiers after next year's World Cup but it appears Meyer's mind is fixed on the short term for now.

Heyneke Meyer has also put forward the names of Schalk Burger and Duane Vermuelen as options. No disrespect meant but Schalk hasn't played enough to warrant a spot in the starting fifteen and arguably in the squad at all. I don’t have a major issue with him cracking the nod for the wider squad but there are far superior loose forwards in the country at the moment who should rule him out of the run-on fifteen. Duane Vermuelen is surely a no-go. Although he hasn't really had the best Super Rugby season, he will be the favourite to start at eight for the Boks, but captain? I can’t see it happening.

In my mind, Bismarck is the long term replacement for de Villiers. He won’t present the same kind of selection issues that plagued John Smit and is growing as a leader with the Sharks but for now that won’t help him. The way things appear, Meyer will pick Matfield. It's not a terrible call. He is almost sure to start and given Meyer's primary aim to get his team out of the inbound tour unscathed, old Vic gives him a strong figure around whom to build his team. Quite frankly I don't care, just so long as it keeps Matfield away from a microphone. 

Now is Not the time for Panic

We're approaching closing time for the round-robin phase of Super Rugby and the time is nigh to grab that last brandy you so desperately need and finally lower those standards as the challenge for play-off spots really heats up. Only the South African conference looks sewn up with the remaining two tighter than a Scotsman at bill time. This coming weekend is the last before we head into the June break and with three rounds remaining after the resumption of Super Rugby, this round 16 will prove pivotal for teams looking to head into the post-international window without having too big a mountain to climb.

The Sharks, barring a Liverpool-style meltdown, have the South African conference in the bank and will, with a win at home this weekend against the Stormers, take a lead of at least 10 points into the final two fixtures. Despite the Stormers great run of form, Jake White will be confident that no matter how close the Stormers get to victory, Michael Rhodes will punch someone at the most in/opportune time to kill off any sort of hope of an upset. The Bulls present the only challenge to the Sharks' position at the top of the pile but will realistically be hoping for a big push to secure a playoff spot. Victor and co. have a very winnable fixture at Ellis Park against the Lions and will look to topple Warren Whitely's men who are probably just desperate for this season to end with some dignity remaining intact. The Cheetahs have a bye but the only impact that will have on the log is that their points difference won’t plummet by another 30 plus points. Naka Drostke's charges make Jannie Du Plessis look impregnable on defence and Heyneke Meyer will be hoping Willie Le Roux hasn't started what could be a habit for providing assists for his opposition. That tap-back for Tagicakibau was a true clustercuss.

The New Zealand conference is up for grabs as only the Blues look out of contention. No one side has been able to maintain a consistent run of form to pull ahead and all seem hell-bent on taking the race for number one spot to the death. The Crusaders (with their fighting Uruk-Hai Nemani Nadolo) and Hurricanes (with their own version in the form of Julian Savea) are the form teams but the Highlanders and Chiefs have the quality to nip in a few important wins. Let's not forget that the Chiefs have won the two previous competitions and with Aaron Cruden back they are not to be discounted. Injuries have proved key in this year's competition and if the 'Canes can keep their players fit it will be a big surprise if they don’t keep the momentum going and at least secure a play-off berth.

It's the battle of the big hair in Australia and despite not boasting any big-name crops coming into the comp, the Waratahs have stepped up with the flowing Greek-style locks of Michael Hooper and Rob Horne proving too much for old-school home fitness video style Nick Cummins of the Force and even the much acclaimed 80s pornstar Henry Speight of the Brumbies. The boys from Sydney have been in fine nick of late and with Issy Folau and Kurtley playing as they are, anything but top spot looks unlikely. The 'Tahs don't have the easiest run-in but with the even nature of Super Rugby in 2014 nor does anyone else. The Force have been a real treat in 2014 and I mean how busy are they?! They have taken on the underdog mantra of their on-field mascot the Badge to really surprise the bigger names this year. Their excellent season is amplified when compared with the Reds' dismal campaign who have stumbled and goose-stepped their way to the bottom of the combined log as at the end of round 15. James Horwill will hope his team can pick up a few wins to avoid the same come the end of the season and will look to overcome the Rebels to save a little face down under. 

If I had only one wish...

Every coach of every team in every sport has a wishlist. I'm not talking about the kind of wishlist that James Small has with which colour knuckle-duster he wants for Christmas. The wishlist to which I refer is for players, of course. Irrespective of how well a team may be performing or how complete a squad may appear, there is always room for improvement. Aging players need understudies and fresh faces need a Victor Matfield to stunt the growth of their nascent careers. In the spirit of ReRugby's start-stop existence we come back to you now as Super Rugby nears the halfway point in the round robin stage. As a religious festival approaches lets look to the real meaning of such times and think of things we want for ourselves. Let's have a look-see in which position each of the fifteen teams could most use strengthening. For once, I'll resist talking about New Zealand and begin at home in South Africa (not that anyone here will care to read about anything that doesn't start with Oscar , Nkandla or Scarlett Johansson naked).

We'll start in pretty Cape Town where the Newlands faithful haven't even needed fear of a fire to prevent them from placing their rear ends down in their seats. Where to start? Good God! Where a team such as the Stormers is performing as poorly as they are one is automatically drawn toward criticising the leadership on and off the pitch. As much as it pains me, Jean de Villiers cannot take the blame here. He must have taken a few tips from Ryan Giggs in career longevity but for the sake of any brother old JDV may have I would hope it to be the yoga rather than the alternative. Alistair Coetzee is leading the Stormers down a dark path but management aside, you can't help but feel that a bit of dynamism around the fringes is lacking. The Stormers have never been the most exciting lot about but that's fine. Where they have failed this term is imposing themselves and allowing a bit more momentum to carry their attacks forward. Duane Vermuelen is meant to be the big ball carrier but he has lacked form. One wish, if I was Alistair Coetzee (and thank God I'm not because I don't fancy unemployment) is the not so unfamiliar face of Francois Louw. Flow is a fan-favourite and has not been adequately replaced since moving overseas. One player will not change the Stormers position any great deal but his power and disruptive abilities at the breakdown would help stunt opposition attacks and allow a bit more time and space for the backline to... uh.. ya.

Next up is the Cheetahs. Naka Drotske's men have been a serious let-down this season. After such a remarkable resurgence last year, the Cheetahs failed to kick on in the Currie Cup and have been unable to solidify what is ultimately a porous and ill-disciplined defensive unit. There can be no real complaints about their forward pack as they boast one of the most impressive back rows and arguably the second best hooker in the competition. Cheetahs games are always entertaining and you can always count on them to allow for a dramatic comeback, no matter what lead they may have. The question though, is what to do with a talented and unruly animal. Do you try and tame it or let it run wild? Professional rugby is about balance and at the moment the Cheetahs are lacking a touch of that. Their attack is too eager to head to the sideline and a big, gainline crossing, assault-charge-having, PTSD recovering centre could help keep things a bit close and not allow their defence to get too spread every time they lose possession. Someone like Francois Steyn ticks the first two boxes only, as far as I am aware, but oh ya he plays for the Sharks.

'Shithead': a term once used to refer to the Lions so majestically and affectionately on this plane of literary grace known as ReRugby . Nowadays, that may perhaps seem a little out of place. Their start to their campaign has been nothing short of miraculous. A last-minute win against the Cheetahs was one thing but victories against the Stormers, Blues and Reds left all and sundry in a state of absolute incredulity. I think even Warren Brosnihan may have run out of superlatives for the Lions' start to this campaign. Marnitz Boshoff has proved a steady supply of points and a good distributor and kicker out of hand. Elton is looking more and more likely to be off overseas in the face of such consistency shown by Boshoff as it looks like the fat man's days at Ellis Park are numbered. Faf de Klerk has been a useful addition but where the Lions could use a bit extra is in their front row. Hooker has shown itself to be a vital position in recent years with strong, mobile players able to make huge impacts in big matches. Good old Willie Wepenaar is one thing but look, he has not only seen too many winters but is just something of a, well, shithead.

Ah the Bulls. Possibly my worst and favourite topic of conversation. After last year's purple debacle one would probably have thought the worst to be over. Sadly not. Never bet against the master of the fashion faux pas: the Dutchman (no offence meant. The previous comment was a direct insult but considering the fact that I said no offence it means that what I said is now fine). The camouflage kit that the Bulls have got this year is nothing short of a travesty. I never thought it possible that I could imagine hating Jaco van der Westhuisen more swinging from the poles after the 2007 Super Rugby final (less said about that the better) but if he were to be wearing this abomination then quite frankly, I think I may have imploded. Oh right, we are talking about their players. Sorry. Screw that, change the kit.

The Sharks.

End.

Meet the 2013 New Zealand Franchises

The clock continues to tick down as match day one of Super Rugby 2013 fast approaches. Whilst the opening round does seem to be a bit of a curtain raiser for round two, any competitive southern hemisphere rugby is enough to get you all excited. With only two infamously boring Aussie derbies on the cards this weekend, ReRugby thought we’d move on and carry on with our analysis of this year’s teams and their respective comings and goings. Despite being a South African, I do have an unpatriotic fascination with New Zealand rugby. Everything about the All Blacks and the New Zealand franchises just reeks with ‘cool’.  From their kits to Rene Ranger calf tattoos and all-round Maori flair, the boys from the land of the long white cloud sure do know how to set the rugby world alight and here are the new men who will be bringing the show.

The Blues had a dreadful 2012 and have plenty new faces to replaces some more familiar ones who have moved on. All Black regulars Tony Woodcock, Jerome Kaino, Ma’a Nonu and Isaia Toeava have left for lands anew but the buck doesn’t stop there. The Aucklanders will also have to do without tunnel burrower Daniel Braid, Chris Lowrey, Gareth Anscombe (who’s gone to chow bench behind Aaron Cruden at the Chiefs), Alby Mathewson, Michael Hobbs, Benson Stanley, powerhouse winger Rudi Wulf, apeman Lachie Munro and the biggest loss of all the mercurial, gap tearing and all round nice guy Hadleigh Parkes. Noticeable additions include former Crusaders’ hooker Quentin MacDonald, the exciting flyhalf prospect Baden Kerr, former Highlander Chris Noakes, Jackson Willison from the Chiefs and former NZ Sevens star Frank Halai. The Blues needed a reshuffle and they have certainly not been scared in bringing that about. One cannot be sure if it will pay off but as the ‘Canes showed last year, shedding some big-name dead weight (although they have kept Piri Weepu) can give the team a big boost.

Last season’s winners the Chiefs return in 2013 with a similar squad to 2012, with one notable omission. The Buffalo Hunter, Sonny Bill Williams has moved back to Sydney to play league. SBW is a one-of-a-kind machine and as shown by the Crusaders or frankly any team who he plays for and abandons will testify; he is irreplaceable. That Jackson Willison has also left and Richard Kahui is notoriously injury prone do not help matters. The Chiefs have brought Charlie Ngatai from the Hurricanes and young centre Bundee Aki as cover. Talk of Tim Nanai-Williams shifting to centre, presumably at 13, could give the Chiefs an exciting combination with Kahui. The key to the Chiefs this season is Aaron Cruden. His form, along with Tawera Kerr-Barlow was sensational last term and if they can keep it going then another playoff spot is surely theirs. The Chiefs forward pack remains strong but try scoring aficionado Sona ‘Touch My Lolly’ Taumolo, has been pulled in by the garlic. Otherwise, we should expect much of the same from the cow-bell boys, which include some fireworks, Masaga gas and some Ben Tameifat.

Super Rugby’s most successful team, the Crusaders, have fallen off the pace a bit in recent years and are in big need of an impressive 2013 to restore faith in Todd Blackadder’s ability to restore the team to their glory years. They do boast two of the world’s best players in Israel Dagg and Dan Carter and these two will need to maintain fitness and top form this season especially given the absence of Richie McCaw who has decided to heed his conscience and take a breather from the game. The ‘Saders will have to do without All Blacks Ben Franks who has moved to Wellington and piss artist and bare-backed bar brawler Zac Guildford, but the winger may actually return in a few weeks despite earlier speculation that he would be taking the season off to find some Zen. Sean Maitland has moved to play for Scotland and Patrick Osbourne, who made a good impression in the ITM Cup has moved to the Chiefs leaving the ‘Saders thin at wing.

The Highlanders have done a lot of business in the off season in the hopes that they can give their season a bit more stamina than previous years. Jason Rutledge has called time on his career to return to electrician duty, James Haskell has returned to the UK, Adam Thomson proves a huge loss as he moves to Japan along with Mike Delany and Siale Piutau, and Jimmy Cowan has also moved to get rained on in England. Thomson’s loss depletes the Highlander’s wing stocks but they will now be able to add a third loose forward to their starting lineup in his absence. They have brought in All Blacks Tony Woodcock, Brad Thorn and Ma’a Nonu which will give the side was valuable experience. Colin Slade would be first choice at flyhalf but he continues his charge for the most injury-prone player since Andre Snyman and will miss the first few weeks, leaving space for Lima Sopoaga. The Highlanders have an electric backline with the likes of Nonu, Tamati Ellison, Hosea Gear, Kade Poki and Ben Smith on the books and if the forwards perform as they have in recent years these boys could prove very dangerous this season.

The Hurricanes had a brilliant 2012 considering how poor they have been in recent years and the personal losses they suffered. Beauden Barrett was one of the year’s stand-out performers and was rewarded with an All Black call-up. The ‘Canes have brought in Julian Savea’s brother Ardie from the Sevens system and if he can have as big an impact as his brother then there is much to be excited about. Flair pivot Dan Kirkpatrick has left to kick drop goals in France and centres Jayden Hayward and Charlie Ngatai have moved on. Along with Ben Franks from the Crusaders, they have also brought in prop Eric Sione and wing Matt Proctor from the Wellington ITM Cup squad. Cory Jane’s injury is a big setback but the side has good balance and isn’t overly reliant on its star players. Victor Vito will remain an important figure for the ‘Canes despite his dumb appearance in a scrum cap and Tub Jim Perenara will look to push on from an impressive 2013. Expect further progress in 2013 from the men from the capital.

And we're back: Super Rugby makes its return

February is back and the month of love promises to deliver all what you lonely hearts out there so desire. It’s not chocolates; it’s biltong. It’s not sweet rosė sparkling wine; its ice cold beer and instead of flowers the only decorations necessary are the flags of your team’s colours. The month of February is perceived a little differently depending on your number of ‘X’ chromosomes but in all honesty a little fat voyeuristic infant cannot begin to instill the excitement and fervour that the start of Super Rugby does each and every year.

So, ReRugby is back after an extended hiatus and in anticipation of weeks listening to Naas and Owen mispronounce names I hope to give a brief introduction to this year’s teams, what we can expect from them and any interesting changes to their rosters. I’ll begin with every South African’s favourite enemy: the Australians. I know you have all been spared the pleasure of ReRugby’s cutting analysis and side-splitting wit for far too long and will probably be wondering why I have chosen to start the re-launch with the dullest of the three SANZAR nations but I don’t want anyone rushing into it and I felt it wise to ease you into the new season’s banter with the ‘C’ team.

The Brumbies began last season surprisingly well and couldn’t quite maintain their form till the end when the class of the Reds managed to finally emerge giving the Brisbane outfit the edge at the top of the Australian conference. It was no great surprise that only one Aussie team made the playoffs but the Brumpets gave a good account of themselves and under Jake White they will look to improve this year. They have managed to make a great signing bringing Wallaby flanker and hand-in-ruck specialist David Pocock.  The Force have lost big on this one but White’s plan to restore the Brumbies to their glory days depends on having players like Pocock in key positions. The Brumbies have one of the stronger Australian front rows and Stephen Moore will take over Nathan Sharpe’s role as number one cue ball in Super Rugby. The title is sure to be a heavy weight on his shoulders but I’m sure he will do what he does best and burrow that shiny head of his where no one wants it. Players such as Christian Lealiifano, the exciting Joe Tomane and Henry Speight will look to push on from 2012 and the return of old south coast boy Clyde Rathbone is sure to get the blood boiling.

The less said about the Force the better as the Perth-based franchise will expect another tough year. They only managed three wins last year and have lost their two most influential players in Sharpe and Pocock. They have pulled in promising opensider and Highbury old boy Chris Alcock from the Waratahs to cover Pocock’s absence and have also signed scrumhalf Alby Mathewson from the Blues. Former ‘Tahs salamander Sam Norton-Knight makes a sneaky return to Super Rugby after a stint in Japan and Jayden Hayward makes the trip across the drink from the ‘Canes to replace Rory Sidey who has moved on to the Rebels. In other news, the man who kicked with his gum guard sticking out the side of his mouth David Harvey has gone somewhere, hopefully dark and hot and permanent, and Fijian winger Napolioni Nalaga who showed his class toward the end of the season has moved back to Clermont in France. Sias Ebersohn has cut the cord from brother Robert in a move necessary for his career and consistent game time could give the Force a really talented and lively player for their new season. It is, however, sure to be another tough year for the Force but who knows. The original cue ball may make a grand return and inspire his team to maybe four wins this year.

Australia’s other bottom feeder the Melbourne Rebels have lost a number of their big name players. It has probably done their wage bill some favours and like QPR in the England’s Premier League they were carrying a lot of aged and underperforming players. Big Stirling has called quits, Mark Gerrard and Julian Huxley have moved on and Michael Lipman, Adam Freier and Al Campbell have also retired. Rodzilla has been released which is sad for those fans who take pleasure in seeing the big men try and move about and Danny Cipriani (or Chipriani as Naas calls him) has pissed off back to England. The Rebels have brought in Scott Higginbotham whose power and versatility will certainly help but in my mind the best signing is hooker and human torpedo Shota Horie. The diminutive Japanese international featured in the 2011 World Cup and will provide great entertainment value in the absence of Rodzilla. The Rebels will also bear the loss of Cooper Vuna who is set to miss the first six weeks of the competition. Kurtley and James O’Connor will again be vital to the Rebels cause and it is important that these two see as much ball as possible. Beale showed how when deployed at flyhalf he can almost win matches on his own and with Cipriani and James Hilgendorf shown the door this might very well be the case.

The Reds have chosen stability ahead of a squad shake up with Scott Higginbotham the only first team player who has moved on in the break with former rebels front-rower Jono Owen coming in. New ARU deals for Quade Cooper and Will Genia would have relaxed Ewan McKenzie somewhat but the Reds’ coach is sure to be as pensieve and antsy as ever on the sidelines at Suncorp. Radike Samo father of many is still there in the Reds back row and young flankers Liam Gill, Beau Robinson and Ed Quirk will look to build from impressive seasons in 2012. Cooper will be the key and if the likes of Digbert and Dom Shipperly are firing the Reds could be back to the scintillating form we saw in 2011. Mike Harris gives them a dependable goal kicker and big James Horwill will need to lead by example in the tight in order for Genia and Cooper to dictate.

The Waratahs have done a bit of useful business in the off season bringing in Wallaby Michael Hooper for the departed Chris Alcock, former Reds utility forward Mitchell Chapman and Cam Crawford from the Brumbies. The ever ill-disciplined Dean Mumm has left to get cards for Exeter and experienced campaigners Dan Vickerman and Roquefort Elsom have both left. Fans of flair will be devastated to hear that Daniel Halangahu has left but never fear as you can catch him playing for Zebre in Italy if you ever feel like seeing nothing happen. Sarel Pretorius has been shown the door to return back to Bloem and I don’t think many in Sydney will be overly disappointed about that. The ‘Tahs will battle to improve on their mid-table finish of last year but a good clean-out could pave the way for a resurgence in coming years.

What's the Winning Formula?

With the World Cup just short of two weeks away rugby fans are nearing frothing point on the excitement scale. The apps have been downloaded, schedules stuck up on walls, sick days from work arranged and girlfriends broken up with in anticipation of this magnificent showpiece. Now all we do is wait. In the words of Gandalf the gay "it is the deep breath before the plunge".

New Zealand play host to the 2011 edition and are nothing short of desperate to emulate their 1987 success when  the tournament last visited their shores. The All Blacks have arguably entered each World Cup since as favourites and have failed on each occassion, reaching the final only once in 1995. The situation is no different this time round as the find themselves number one on the IRB rankings. Is their anything different, however, between now and before each of the last few World Cups? They have seemed unbeatable this year but Australia proved otherwise with a fantastic win last weekend. I discount the previous match against the Springboks because they truly did field a 'B' side. A 'B' side that most nations would happily accept as their best but not New Zealand.

One note of encouragement for Kiwi supporters is that they havent selected a fullback at outside centre. Mils Muliaina and Leon MacDonald have occupied the spot in past tournaments and the plan came unstuck. Conrad Smith is a deadly force in midfield and in the form Richard Kahui they have a more than adequate replacement. Their squad just looks too deadly. Graham Henry even had the nerve to leave out the likes of Hosea Gear and Sitiveni Siviviatu deeming them surplus to requirements. Wyatt Crockett; tipped as one the world's best scrummagers after his impressive Super 15 can't find a place with Henry opting for the more experienced Tony Woodschlong. I'm not too convinced with this decision but all we can do is wait and see.

The lineup that featured against Australia is likely to be largely unchanged when Henry picks his first-choice XV against Tonga with only potential changes being Ali Williams perhaps, Jerome Kaino for Adam Thomson and possibly a change at scrumhalf with Piri Weepu and Jimmy Cowan still vying for the number nine jersey. An unfortunate liability for the All Blacks could in fact be veteran fullback Mils Muliaina. The World Cup has come about a year too late for Mils who has struggled for form all year and really only gets a spot based on what the coach knows he can do, or rather what he has done in the past.I know in saying this Mils could rip it up and I could end up looking like a knob but I would still stick my neck out and go for Izzy Dagg at the back if it were up to me. The man has a tattoo on his back that says "Dagg". How can you not put him in the team?

The other point of controversy regards inside centre and the ominous Sonny Bill-Ma'a Nonu debate. It is no secret that Henry loves Nonu. I believe that old Grazie has yellow braids for arse hair and they spend their summers together on a secluded beach somwhere in the Pacific. That saying there is no denying that Nonu is a world class player and has developed tenfold under Henry's watchful eye and caressing hand. He has the experience that Sonny Bill lacks and the combination with Conrad Smith that does in the end justify his selection over rugby's new phenomenon. Despite this he will pose a terrifying figure coming off the bench and will probably get a start against the blind school team of the pool. In New Zealand's case they have two in the form of Japan and Canada. Expect big points in those with Sonny Bill and others like Dagg, Kahui and Guildford racking up the tries.

So returning to my earlier question; have the All Blacks a side, albeit packed with outstanding players, that can win the Wolrd Cup? The simple answer is yes. Home ground advantage is nothing to be sneezed at and New Zealand have one of the most impressive records at home. They have a team experienced in the right positions and in Dan Carter they have the world's best number 10. An area of potential concern is their tight five but in all honesty it is simply me picking nits. There are others, however, and their path to glory is obstructed by a number of exceptional teams. Over the course of the build up we will be having a look at some of these potential challengers and how they figure against the Kiwis.

Currie Cup 5 Week Review

With the expanded Super Rugby competition, Tri-Nations, and the impending World Cup rugby fans may be excused for not paying much attention to or care for the 2011 Currie Cup. Much rhetoric in rugby circles has adopted the line that the world's oldest rugby tournament has finally been made redundant. I would, however, certainly think that the fans huddled under the covers at Newlands on Friday evening, myself included, would beg to differ. I don't think those fans would have endured the torrential downpour just for the off chance of seeing Breyton doing a few flick-flacks or the DHL girls. Neither were they there to watch their team play in a tournament in which there is little remaining interest. They made the effort to support their team in the hopes that victory could help them along in their Currie Cup campaign. Despite the international scene taking predominance the Currie Cup still holds a great importance in the hearts of South African rugby fans.

This year's edition of die Currie Beker has offered no shortage of surprise. The Bulls find themselves sitting not so pretty at sixth, Province have struggled and currently hold fourth spot, the Pumas have proved not quite as horrible as in the past; but most surprising is the position of the Lions at the top of the log. Their Super Rugby campaign showed ambition, naive ambition but at least the will to try was present. Their expansive style of play came unstuck on most occasions but with a similar squad to the one that played Super Rugby they have done well so far winning all of their five fixtures. A cynic, a Sharks supporter or both will say that the Lions have played all of the three 'weaker' sides in their five wins but those still need beating. This was shown by the Sharks in their woeful loss away to the Griquas which is becoming far too much for a regularity for my liking.

Staying on the subject, Griquas have lived up to their reputation of being very difficult to beat, irrespective of who you are and how many disgraced Springboks you may have at your disposal after another PDV reshuffle. They have lost record breaking Bjorn Basson to the Bulls but have still managed more than decent performances each weak. The return of Sarel Pretorius will be nothing short of monumental for them as his style of play suits the more open stance Currie Cup matches tend to take. In past seasons they have fallen away as the stronger unions welcome back their Bok stars but this is unlikely in this year's competition due to the World Cup. Continuity, a bit of luck and continued use of whatever life-prolonging medication mascot Bushy uses could see them mount a serious challenge for a top four spot.

Seeing the Bulls struggle is always a pleasure and one their success in recent years has denied me. Sixth position, while well-below their expectations, is certainly better than stone last, where they found themselves two weeks ago. Their squad, unlike in the past, simply doesn't have the depth to deal with their absent Springboks and perhaps more worrying for them is the fact that a few of those players are gone for good. Their replacements don't seem quite up to scratch. Flip van der Merwve, whilst being a very good player cannot compete with Bakkies on a hate-inspiring level and I don't think that he, no matter how hard he tries, could ever reach the pinnacles of arseholeness that Bakkies has achieved. Who could be seen praising the Father one minute and then eye-gouging Luke Fitzgerald the next other than 'The Enforcer'? Their squad is what it is, however, and with injuries mounting the Bulls need to pull serious finger to avoid failing to reach the playoffs.

The Cheetahs and Western Province have been a little disappointing this season. Sias Ebersohn has failed to continue with his superb Super Rugby form and the injury to brother Robert in the early stages saw them struggle to get off in the ground. Province have also failed to produce the rugby we expect of them. Injuries in key positions has seen a number of new faces including young Demetri Catrakilis. The youngster helped UCT to their first Varsity Cup title earlier this year and has now been thrust onto the big stage following injuries to Lionel Cronje and Gazza van Arselicker. An impressive player for WP has been flanker Siya Kolisi. The big man has impressed so far and along with fellow youngsters, Tim Whitehead and Danie Poolman, Province do have a few things to look forward to.

The Leopards and the Pumas prop up the log, each with one win. Although they beat the Pumas two weeks ago, the Leopards have been quite poor and I struggle to see them preventing the Sharks from securing a five pointer this weekend. The Pumas on the other hand have proved more than useful and took the Bulls to the wire last time out.

Finally, we turn to the Sharks. The Durban side has gone along with their business quite casually and find themselves second on the table with one blemish, being the above-mentioned dogshow in Kimberley. Freddie Michalak has been superb in his second stint at Kings Park and new comers Sbu Sithole and Marcel Coetzee offer much-needed enthusiasm and endevour to a largely aging line-up. A well-shaped squad with a few young players coming through should see the Sharks continue on their good run and mount a serious defence of their title.

The matter really comes down to the fact there is no such thing as too much rugby. In terms of player fatigue there might be but with the Currie Cup sides playing non-Springboks it gives those who would otherwise not feature an opportunity to show themselves on a much higher level. Whilst perhaps being overshadowed by Test matches happening simultaneously interest in the Currie Cup is still thriving, and most certainly not dead. Aside from all that where else other than the Currie Cup do we still get to see the likes of Earl Rose still playing professional rugby? Seems to me like reason enough on its own.

PDivvy Magic

Comments and criticism of South Africa's much-ridiculed coach have been rife since his takeover of the World Cup winning Sprinboks at the back end of 2007. He is a journalist's best friend with his endless supply of confused and self-degrading comments. Who could forget such comments as “If I’m the weakest link then we are bloody strong. I’m a God-given talent. I am the best I can ever be. I know what I am and I don’t give a damn.” He has compared Ricky Januarie to a car mechanic, complemented Morgan Newman on his life-long form and developed a philosophy on the difference between winning losing: "you feel better after winning".  Along with all the comedy and facetiousness that accompanies this marvelous creature comes a rather disturbing fact: that he is the coach of our beloved Springboks!

If the above change in tone hasn't made it aware my affections toward Snor are finished and what remains is abuse and vilification. Complaints of his bizarre and uncoordinated tactics come around every time the test season approaches and last long into the domestic campaign. This may have something to do with being the time he opens his Tom Selleck-mimicking mouth and the concomitant flow of excrament. I think even Earl Rose would be starting this weekend if it finally hadn't made its way into Pieter's head that this would cause an uproar no short of London-scale rioting. His faith in Earl is topic enough for a separate, less lugubrious piece and shall be left at that.

Most coaches at professional level will profess to have some sort of plan for their team. If Pieter has one then it is to appear as planless as possible and if that be true does indeed deserve the medal that he feels he deserves. He has, however, seemed to recognise this and has adopted the adage 'if it aint broke then don't fix it'. The 'it' being the team that won the World Cup four years ago and he seems to be doing all that he can to replicate Jake White's winning formula. I think he is secretly praying that Os gets fired from the Cheetahs and in need of income announces his return to Springbok rugby. Unfortunatley for him, if not quite broke, a fair portion of our team is past its best and well-past their expiry dates. Iconoclasm! You  may shout (if you enjoy using verbose words like verbose like I do) and it does seem that Divvy has a host of supporters in this regard as any criticism of Smit, Matfield, Botha or Habana is deemed worthy of death for its articulator. At this stage it is probably too late to replace these guys but the lack of foresight on his behalf to do so at an earlier stage could prove very costly to our World Cup challenge.

The point has been well proven in the 2011 Tri-Nations. Let's forget about the Rustenberg, we're all injured oh no wait now we're all fine, camp for now. Since having his first choice Boks available for selection he has proceeded to act without so much as a clue in team selection so inconsistent the name 'The Tinkerer', affectionately given to former Chelsea manager Claudio Ranieri, would fall far short of the truth. Morne Steyn returns at flyhalf this week begging the question, given he picked him in the first place, what did Butch James do last week that warrants his exclusion this? We all knew he isn't the best goal kicker but he provided some momentum to our backline with  his excellent distribution skills and defended well. This is arguably why Steyn was dropped after the first test, as againts the Wallabies the Springbok backline was about as impotent as Hugh Hefner without his little blue pills. Butch came in and did what was expected. There is no logical reason why he should now be left out. I suppose it is because logic itself is left out in this case. Three number tens in three tests. Confidence in the Bok camp must be flying about now as we close in on the pinnacle of rugby competitions.

The most incredible change he has made has been the replacement of John Smit with Bismarck du Plessis. There is little doubt that the Business is the better player but is this a sign of the way things will play out in New Zealand in just under a months time? This may seem a fair conclusion but when PDivvy is the man making decisions then anything can happen. If Smit is fit enough to be on the bench then he he must be fine to start so the choice is tactical; so one thinks. Smitty has to captain the side at the World Cup. Changing that now would be foolish. Should Bismarck have been named starting hooker a year or eighteen months ago along with a new captain? Yes, probably, but that didn't happen. John Smit is our best captain but he will probably also be our best captain at the age of 40. Should he play then? I'd hate to know Div's answer to that.

On the whole it seems as though the Springboks are in a state of desperation. Three defeats from three in the Tri-Nations with the All Blacks up next, no real vision on team selection and game plan and the self-belief of Derrick Hougaard after taking that hit from Brian Lima. We applaud you Mr. De Villiers. Well done.

But don't worry Piet, you funny little man. You are forgiven because as you have said, despite all disbelief, "I'm not saying that I'm God".

(Please forgive the overuse of the exclamation mark. This man's comments are simply too ridiculous and if paraphrased would surely not be believed.)

Interested In Joining The Rebolution?

The reason for the expansion of Super Rugby to 15 and, as a result, the new conference system, the Melbourne Rebels have proved an interesting bunch so far this season. This ecclectic group find themselves sitting relatively pretty at 9th in the overall log and 3rd in the Aussie conference. Not much better than last was expected of the new outfit prior to the start of the season and these veiws seemed wholly justified after they suffered an embarrasing 43-0 loss to the Waratahs in week one. They have rebounded since then showing glimpses of ability but lacking the consistency required to mount a serious challenge.

Much of their success and failure can be put down to their English flyhalf Danny Cipriani. This lady-boy loving Pom brought a lot of hype when he signed from Wasps and has started all but one match for the Rebels so far. Despite being English his goal-kicking has been inconsistent, at best, and his play does seem to lack direction at times. Cipriani leads the comp with the most number of kicks and his predilection for the grubber and chip kick have seen a number of Rebel attacks flounder and stutter as a result. With the signing of Kurtley Beale for next season and the apparent interest in James O'Connor the Englishman's time could be up come 2012; that being said it could be even sooner than that if he hasn't been deported for some sort of booze-induced madness thus creating a strange irony of Australia sending a criminal to England.

Credit must be given where it is due and the Rebels have gotten a lot out of a largely unkown group of players. Upon seeing their squad before the season started I had a thought that the Lions or even the Cheetahs might finish above them but these two would still finish last even if my res side, the Clarendon Knights, were in Super Rugby. Their loose-forward trio has been impressive. This includes a Welshman, Gareth Delve; an Englishman, Michael Lipman; and a South African, Jarrod Saffy. Saffy actually leads the tournament in the number of tackles with 109 and his partnership with the aforementioned Delve and Lipman has been a point of encouragement for the Melbourne lads. Their second row comprising Al Campbell and especially Hugh Pyle has really stood up tall (haha). Another surprise has been Ged Robinson (pronounced how it's spealt rather than Jed; definitely more entertaining). The New Zealand born hooker has been dynamic and largely reliable and has rewarded those who didn't have enough fantasy money to buy anyone that they had actually heard of with his good performances.

The Rebels' backs have been more of  a problem and this is seen more in their defence than in attack. Exciting prospects like Cooper Vuna, Nick Phipps and Richard Kingi give the Rebels an extra dimension on attack but their first-time tackling has let them down this season. They have the worst defensive record having conceded 282 points in 8 eights games thus conceding 35 points a game on average. Even an attack as potent as the Crusaders would struggle to overturn that each week. Opposition loose forwards must lick their lips in anticipation of having Cipriani to run at in the first-five channel as he rarely offers much effort in a tackle. It must be like running into a bowl of porridge for someone like Willem Alberts.This was demonstrated on a number of occasions in the match against the Highlanders.

So, what is their to make of the Rebels so far this season? They have, without a doubt, exceeded expectations and if they were to finish up in their current position of 9th then they would surely be quite pleased. Injuries could see them struggle in the later stages as they don't really have the squad to cope with missing a few key players. I think they should hope for Mortlock to stay crocked because he is way past his best and would be better suited to cruising around with a zimmer frame in a bingo hall than on a rugby field.

They should find getting a respectable position in their conference easier than on the overall log with the Brumbies and the Force playing like tactless apes this season. As the season approaches its end the Rebels will probably struggle to keep up and will require a big effort if they are to maintain their current level. They should, however, take confidence from the first half of their season; especially their forgetfulness when it comes to taking hammerings which they may need more and more and the season goes on.

It's a Matter of Hair

Over the years Super Rugby has not only been synonymous with brilliant rugby that both dazzles and delights us rugby plebs that are firmly ensconced in our lazy boys back home, but it has also been synonymous with some of the most outrageous facial hair known to man. Pioneers such as Jason Eaton and Radike Samo come to mind as some of the most ground-breaking and forward-thinking ‘face stylists’ in the comp. We are eight weeks into the season and there is plenty of pubic matter to look back on. This article is to commemorate those epic men that stood against ridicule and patchiness to push through beyond the barriers that most normal individuals could not withstand. This is the day of the beard!

The Jason Eaton:  a combination between a mountain goat and a Neanderthal;  Jason Eaton’s beard of a few seasons ago gets us off to a good start and is something that even Jesus, himself, would have been proud of. Both the length and weight of the ‘Jason Eaton’ is something to behold and has even been attempted to be replicated by one J. Strauss of the Lions in this year’s competition. This look has to go down as legendary and something that will surely stand the test of time. My prediction is to expect a lot more of this look over the coming years; however, no one can ever possibly reach the lofty heights that Jason Eaton has reached.

The Andy Ellis: a pubic disaster is the best way to describe this look. A shabby, slightly ginger look epitomised by the fact that the he can’t grow a beard and as such a puce, thin ‘tache’ was the elected look of choice for Mr Ellis. This look cannot possibly be replicated anywhere else, except for maybe on the arse of David Pocock, and as a result I predict that this look will be relegated to the archives. Lost forever, but never forgotten, Ellis’ look is a true cracker!

The Cat Fish: Kurtley Beall started life as an erratic yet potent force on the rugby field now to emerge as a more steady yet electric player week in, week out. Essentially you are not gonna not have Kurtley in your starting line up. The same can be said of his facial looks over the years. Initially, the lamb chops were produced, however, this look whilst a good one for the time lacked a good level of depth and as such could have been said to be lacking in some departments, much like his abilities on the pitch. However, Kurtley has now found his niche, the cat fish is a thing of beauty: a perfectly manicured piece of magic. A ‘tache’ for the ages and its slightly saturn look adds the electricity that belies Kurtley’s current state of mind both on and off the pitch.

The Tatafu Polota (a lotta) fat. The Polota Fat is an intricate balance between power and finesse. Much like his game on the field his ability to do the simple things well and also to run okes down personifies his current look. Firstly, the bro fro has been structured in such a way to exemplify power and the sheer size of it demonstrates that. Secondly, his well manicured lamb chops demonstrate the finesse that is required in order to maintain a well rounded chop look. Hours of preening is required to achieve this, in short there is no substitute for hard work. The same can be said in order to perform on the rugby field especially when it comes to throwing into the line outs and scrumagging (the simple things). The Polota Fat in my mind is the look of the year so far and much more can be expected.

Finally, The Franks. This is a look a rapist would be proud of, a short-bearded look that is patchier than your average township dog. Ben Franks has been developing this look and refining it for sometime now and it has finally be perfected with a bald ‘cue ball’ finish up top that would leave most people believing that his  head is on upside down. He is a terror to meet on the pitch and now he would be considered to also be a terror to meet off the pitch (especially in a dark alley way and if you are a girl). My advice would be to steer clear of this future convict and don’t expect this look to explode.

On a more serious note whilst the facial hair of many players in Super Rugby both entertain and amaze us, it is the rugby that keeps us glued to our televisions. This year has been no different, much like the facial hair, the rugby has been bigger and better than ever and has been an absolute treat for me as an avid rugby fan to watch. I feel the best is still to come though both facially and on the pitch! So stay tuned, the pubes are likely to blow your minds over the coming weeks.

Written by Matthew Murray