Meet the 2013 New Zealand Franchises

The clock continues to tick down as match day one of Super Rugby 2013 fast approaches. Whilst the opening round does seem to be a bit of a curtain raiser for round two, any competitive southern hemisphere rugby is enough to get you all excited. With only two infamously boring Aussie derbies on the cards this weekend, ReRugby thought we’d move on and carry on with our analysis of this year’s teams and their respective comings and goings. Despite being a South African, I do have an unpatriotic fascination with New Zealand rugby. Everything about the All Blacks and the New Zealand franchises just reeks with ‘cool’.  From their kits to Rene Ranger calf tattoos and all-round Maori flair, the boys from the land of the long white cloud sure do know how to set the rugby world alight and here are the new men who will be bringing the show.

The Blues had a dreadful 2012 and have plenty new faces to replaces some more familiar ones who have moved on. All Black regulars Tony Woodcock, Jerome Kaino, Ma’a Nonu and Isaia Toeava have left for lands anew but the buck doesn’t stop there. The Aucklanders will also have to do without tunnel burrower Daniel Braid, Chris Lowrey, Gareth Anscombe (who’s gone to chow bench behind Aaron Cruden at the Chiefs), Alby Mathewson, Michael Hobbs, Benson Stanley, powerhouse winger Rudi Wulf, apeman Lachie Munro and the biggest loss of all the mercurial, gap tearing and all round nice guy Hadleigh Parkes. Noticeable additions include former Crusaders’ hooker Quentin MacDonald, the exciting flyhalf prospect Baden Kerr, former Highlander Chris Noakes, Jackson Willison from the Chiefs and former NZ Sevens star Frank Halai. The Blues needed a reshuffle and they have certainly not been scared in bringing that about. One cannot be sure if it will pay off but as the ‘Canes showed last year, shedding some big-name dead weight (although they have kept Piri Weepu) can give the team a big boost.

Last season’s winners the Chiefs return in 2013 with a similar squad to 2012, with one notable omission. The Buffalo Hunter, Sonny Bill Williams has moved back to Sydney to play league. SBW is a one-of-a-kind machine and as shown by the Crusaders or frankly any team who he plays for and abandons will testify; he is irreplaceable. That Jackson Willison has also left and Richard Kahui is notoriously injury prone do not help matters. The Chiefs have brought Charlie Ngatai from the Hurricanes and young centre Bundee Aki as cover. Talk of Tim Nanai-Williams shifting to centre, presumably at 13, could give the Chiefs an exciting combination with Kahui. The key to the Chiefs this season is Aaron Cruden. His form, along with Tawera Kerr-Barlow was sensational last term and if they can keep it going then another playoff spot is surely theirs. The Chiefs forward pack remains strong but try scoring aficionado Sona ‘Touch My Lolly’ Taumolo, has been pulled in by the garlic. Otherwise, we should expect much of the same from the cow-bell boys, which include some fireworks, Masaga gas and some Ben Tameifat.

Super Rugby’s most successful team, the Crusaders, have fallen off the pace a bit in recent years and are in big need of an impressive 2013 to restore faith in Todd Blackadder’s ability to restore the team to their glory years. They do boast two of the world’s best players in Israel Dagg and Dan Carter and these two will need to maintain fitness and top form this season especially given the absence of Richie McCaw who has decided to heed his conscience and take a breather from the game. The ‘Saders will have to do without All Blacks Ben Franks who has moved to Wellington and piss artist and bare-backed bar brawler Zac Guildford, but the winger may actually return in a few weeks despite earlier speculation that he would be taking the season off to find some Zen. Sean Maitland has moved to play for Scotland and Patrick Osbourne, who made a good impression in the ITM Cup has moved to the Chiefs leaving the ‘Saders thin at wing.

The Highlanders have done a lot of business in the off season in the hopes that they can give their season a bit more stamina than previous years. Jason Rutledge has called time on his career to return to electrician duty, James Haskell has returned to the UK, Adam Thomson proves a huge loss as he moves to Japan along with Mike Delany and Siale Piutau, and Jimmy Cowan has also moved to get rained on in England. Thomson’s loss depletes the Highlander’s wing stocks but they will now be able to add a third loose forward to their starting lineup in his absence. They have brought in All Blacks Tony Woodcock, Brad Thorn and Ma’a Nonu which will give the side was valuable experience. Colin Slade would be first choice at flyhalf but he continues his charge for the most injury-prone player since Andre Snyman and will miss the first few weeks, leaving space for Lima Sopoaga. The Highlanders have an electric backline with the likes of Nonu, Tamati Ellison, Hosea Gear, Kade Poki and Ben Smith on the books and if the forwards perform as they have in recent years these boys could prove very dangerous this season.

The Hurricanes had a brilliant 2012 considering how poor they have been in recent years and the personal losses they suffered. Beauden Barrett was one of the year’s stand-out performers and was rewarded with an All Black call-up. The ‘Canes have brought in Julian Savea’s brother Ardie from the Sevens system and if he can have as big an impact as his brother then there is much to be excited about. Flair pivot Dan Kirkpatrick has left to kick drop goals in France and centres Jayden Hayward and Charlie Ngatai have moved on. Along with Ben Franks from the Crusaders, they have also brought in prop Eric Sione and wing Matt Proctor from the Wellington ITM Cup squad. Cory Jane’s injury is a big setback but the side has good balance and isn’t overly reliant on its star players. Victor Vito will remain an important figure for the ‘Canes despite his dumb appearance in a scrum cap and Tub Jim Perenara will look to push on from an impressive 2013. Expect further progress in 2013 from the men from the capital.