And we're back: Super Rugby makes its return

February is back and the month of love promises to deliver all what you lonely hearts out there so desire. It’s not chocolates; it’s biltong. It’s not sweet rosė sparkling wine; its ice cold beer and instead of flowers the only decorations necessary are the flags of your team’s colours. The month of February is perceived a little differently depending on your number of ‘X’ chromosomes but in all honesty a little fat voyeuristic infant cannot begin to instill the excitement and fervour that the start of Super Rugby does each and every year.

So, ReRugby is back after an extended hiatus and in anticipation of weeks listening to Naas and Owen mispronounce names I hope to give a brief introduction to this year’s teams, what we can expect from them and any interesting changes to their rosters. I’ll begin with every South African’s favourite enemy: the Australians. I know you have all been spared the pleasure of ReRugby’s cutting analysis and side-splitting wit for far too long and will probably be wondering why I have chosen to start the re-launch with the dullest of the three SANZAR nations but I don’t want anyone rushing into it and I felt it wise to ease you into the new season’s banter with the ‘C’ team.

The Brumbies began last season surprisingly well and couldn’t quite maintain their form till the end when the class of the Reds managed to finally emerge giving the Brisbane outfit the edge at the top of the Australian conference. It was no great surprise that only one Aussie team made the playoffs but the Brumpets gave a good account of themselves and under Jake White they will look to improve this year. They have managed to make a great signing bringing Wallaby flanker and hand-in-ruck specialist David Pocock.  The Force have lost big on this one but White’s plan to restore the Brumbies to their glory days depends on having players like Pocock in key positions. The Brumbies have one of the stronger Australian front rows and Stephen Moore will take over Nathan Sharpe’s role as number one cue ball in Super Rugby. The title is sure to be a heavy weight on his shoulders but I’m sure he will do what he does best and burrow that shiny head of his where no one wants it. Players such as Christian Lealiifano, the exciting Joe Tomane and Henry Speight will look to push on from 2012 and the return of old south coast boy Clyde Rathbone is sure to get the blood boiling.

The less said about the Force the better as the Perth-based franchise will expect another tough year. They only managed three wins last year and have lost their two most influential players in Sharpe and Pocock. They have pulled in promising opensider and Highbury old boy Chris Alcock from the Waratahs to cover Pocock’s absence and have also signed scrumhalf Alby Mathewson from the Blues. Former ‘Tahs salamander Sam Norton-Knight makes a sneaky return to Super Rugby after a stint in Japan and Jayden Hayward makes the trip across the drink from the ‘Canes to replace Rory Sidey who has moved on to the Rebels. In other news, the man who kicked with his gum guard sticking out the side of his mouth David Harvey has gone somewhere, hopefully dark and hot and permanent, and Fijian winger Napolioni Nalaga who showed his class toward the end of the season has moved back to Clermont in France. Sias Ebersohn has cut the cord from brother Robert in a move necessary for his career and consistent game time could give the Force a really talented and lively player for their new season. It is, however, sure to be another tough year for the Force but who knows. The original cue ball may make a grand return and inspire his team to maybe four wins this year.

Australia’s other bottom feeder the Melbourne Rebels have lost a number of their big name players. It has probably done their wage bill some favours and like QPR in the England’s Premier League they were carrying a lot of aged and underperforming players. Big Stirling has called quits, Mark Gerrard and Julian Huxley have moved on and Michael Lipman, Adam Freier and Al Campbell have also retired. Rodzilla has been released which is sad for those fans who take pleasure in seeing the big men try and move about and Danny Cipriani (or Chipriani as Naas calls him) has pissed off back to England. The Rebels have brought in Scott Higginbotham whose power and versatility will certainly help but in my mind the best signing is hooker and human torpedo Shota Horie. The diminutive Japanese international featured in the 2011 World Cup and will provide great entertainment value in the absence of Rodzilla. The Rebels will also bear the loss of Cooper Vuna who is set to miss the first six weeks of the competition. Kurtley and James O’Connor will again be vital to the Rebels cause and it is important that these two see as much ball as possible. Beale showed how when deployed at flyhalf he can almost win matches on his own and with Cipriani and James Hilgendorf shown the door this might very well be the case.

The Reds have chosen stability ahead of a squad shake up with Scott Higginbotham the only first team player who has moved on in the break with former rebels front-rower Jono Owen coming in. New ARU deals for Quade Cooper and Will Genia would have relaxed Ewan McKenzie somewhat but the Reds’ coach is sure to be as pensieve and antsy as ever on the sidelines at Suncorp. Radike Samo father of many is still there in the Reds back row and young flankers Liam Gill, Beau Robinson and Ed Quirk will look to build from impressive seasons in 2012. Cooper will be the key and if the likes of Digbert and Dom Shipperly are firing the Reds could be back to the scintillating form we saw in 2011. Mike Harris gives them a dependable goal kicker and big James Horwill will need to lead by example in the tight in order for Genia and Cooper to dictate.

The Waratahs have done a bit of useful business in the off season bringing in Wallaby Michael Hooper for the departed Chris Alcock, former Reds utility forward Mitchell Chapman and Cam Crawford from the Brumbies. The ever ill-disciplined Dean Mumm has left to get cards for Exeter and experienced campaigners Dan Vickerman and Roquefort Elsom have both left. Fans of flair will be devastated to hear that Daniel Halangahu has left but never fear as you can catch him playing for Zebre in Italy if you ever feel like seeing nothing happen. Sarel Pretorius has been shown the door to return back to Bloem and I don’t think many in Sydney will be overly disappointed about that. The ‘Tahs will battle to improve on their mid-table finish of last year but a good clean-out could pave the way for a resurgence in coming years.