Interested In Joining The Rebolution?

The reason for the expansion of Super Rugby to 15 and, as a result, the new conference system, the Melbourne Rebels have proved an interesting bunch so far this season. This ecclectic group find themselves sitting relatively pretty at 9th in the overall log and 3rd in the Aussie conference. Not much better than last was expected of the new outfit prior to the start of the season and these veiws seemed wholly justified after they suffered an embarrasing 43-0 loss to the Waratahs in week one. They have rebounded since then showing glimpses of ability but lacking the consistency required to mount a serious challenge.

Much of their success and failure can be put down to their English flyhalf Danny Cipriani. This lady-boy loving Pom brought a lot of hype when he signed from Wasps and has started all but one match for the Rebels so far. Despite being English his goal-kicking has been inconsistent, at best, and his play does seem to lack direction at times. Cipriani leads the comp with the most number of kicks and his predilection for the grubber and chip kick have seen a number of Rebel attacks flounder and stutter as a result. With the signing of Kurtley Beale for next season and the apparent interest in James O'Connor the Englishman's time could be up come 2012; that being said it could be even sooner than that if he hasn't been deported for some sort of booze-induced madness thus creating a strange irony of Australia sending a criminal to England.

Credit must be given where it is due and the Rebels have gotten a lot out of a largely unkown group of players. Upon seeing their squad before the season started I had a thought that the Lions or even the Cheetahs might finish above them but these two would still finish last even if my res side, the Clarendon Knights, were in Super Rugby. Their loose-forward trio has been impressive. This includes a Welshman, Gareth Delve; an Englishman, Michael Lipman; and a South African, Jarrod Saffy. Saffy actually leads the tournament in the number of tackles with 109 and his partnership with the aforementioned Delve and Lipman has been a point of encouragement for the Melbourne lads. Their second row comprising Al Campbell and especially Hugh Pyle has really stood up tall (haha). Another surprise has been Ged Robinson (pronounced how it's spealt rather than Jed; definitely more entertaining). The New Zealand born hooker has been dynamic and largely reliable and has rewarded those who didn't have enough fantasy money to buy anyone that they had actually heard of with his good performances.

The Rebels' backs have been more of  a problem and this is seen more in their defence than in attack. Exciting prospects like Cooper Vuna, Nick Phipps and Richard Kingi give the Rebels an extra dimension on attack but their first-time tackling has let them down this season. They have the worst defensive record having conceded 282 points in 8 eights games thus conceding 35 points a game on average. Even an attack as potent as the Crusaders would struggle to overturn that each week. Opposition loose forwards must lick their lips in anticipation of having Cipriani to run at in the first-five channel as he rarely offers much effort in a tackle. It must be like running into a bowl of porridge for someone like Willem Alberts.This was demonstrated on a number of occasions in the match against the Highlanders.

So, what is their to make of the Rebels so far this season? They have, without a doubt, exceeded expectations and if they were to finish up in their current position of 9th then they would surely be quite pleased. Injuries could see them struggle in the later stages as they don't really have the squad to cope with missing a few key players. I think they should hope for Mortlock to stay crocked because he is way past his best and would be better suited to cruising around with a zimmer frame in a bingo hall than on a rugby field.

They should find getting a respectable position in their conference easier than on the overall log with the Brumbies and the Force playing like tactless apes this season. As the season approaches its end the Rebels will probably struggle to keep up and will require a big effort if they are to maintain their current level. They should, however, take confidence from the first half of their season; especially their forgetfulness when it comes to taking hammerings which they may need more and more and the season goes on.

It's a Matter of Hair

Over the years Super Rugby has not only been synonymous with brilliant rugby that both dazzles and delights us rugby plebs that are firmly ensconced in our lazy boys back home, but it has also been synonymous with some of the most outrageous facial hair known to man. Pioneers such as Jason Eaton and Radike Samo come to mind as some of the most ground-breaking and forward-thinking ‘face stylists’ in the comp. We are eight weeks into the season and there is plenty of pubic matter to look back on. This article is to commemorate those epic men that stood against ridicule and patchiness to push through beyond the barriers that most normal individuals could not withstand. This is the day of the beard!

The Jason Eaton:  a combination between a mountain goat and a Neanderthal;  Jason Eaton’s beard of a few seasons ago gets us off to a good start and is something that even Jesus, himself, would have been proud of. Both the length and weight of the ‘Jason Eaton’ is something to behold and has even been attempted to be replicated by one J. Strauss of the Lions in this year’s competition. This look has to go down as legendary and something that will surely stand the test of time. My prediction is to expect a lot more of this look over the coming years; however, no one can ever possibly reach the lofty heights that Jason Eaton has reached.

The Andy Ellis: a pubic disaster is the best way to describe this look. A shabby, slightly ginger look epitomised by the fact that the he can’t grow a beard and as such a puce, thin ‘tache’ was the elected look of choice for Mr Ellis. This look cannot possibly be replicated anywhere else, except for maybe on the arse of David Pocock, and as a result I predict that this look will be relegated to the archives. Lost forever, but never forgotten, Ellis’ look is a true cracker!

The Cat Fish: Kurtley Beall started life as an erratic yet potent force on the rugby field now to emerge as a more steady yet electric player week in, week out. Essentially you are not gonna not have Kurtley in your starting line up. The same can be said of his facial looks over the years. Initially, the lamb chops were produced, however, this look whilst a good one for the time lacked a good level of depth and as such could have been said to be lacking in some departments, much like his abilities on the pitch. However, Kurtley has now found his niche, the cat fish is a thing of beauty: a perfectly manicured piece of magic. A ‘tache’ for the ages and its slightly saturn look adds the electricity that belies Kurtley’s current state of mind both on and off the pitch.

The Tatafu Polota (a lotta) fat. The Polota Fat is an intricate balance between power and finesse. Much like his game on the field his ability to do the simple things well and also to run okes down personifies his current look. Firstly, the bro fro has been structured in such a way to exemplify power and the sheer size of it demonstrates that. Secondly, his well manicured lamb chops demonstrate the finesse that is required in order to maintain a well rounded chop look. Hours of preening is required to achieve this, in short there is no substitute for hard work. The same can be said in order to perform on the rugby field especially when it comes to throwing into the line outs and scrumagging (the simple things). The Polota Fat in my mind is the look of the year so far and much more can be expected.

Finally, The Franks. This is a look a rapist would be proud of, a short-bearded look that is patchier than your average township dog. Ben Franks has been developing this look and refining it for sometime now and it has finally be perfected with a bald ‘cue ball’ finish up top that would leave most people believing that his  head is on upside down. He is a terror to meet on the pitch and now he would be considered to also be a terror to meet off the pitch (especially in a dark alley way and if you are a girl). My advice would be to steer clear of this future convict and don’t expect this look to explode.

On a more serious note whilst the facial hair of many players in Super Rugby both entertain and amaze us, it is the rugby that keeps us glued to our televisions. This year has been no different, much like the facial hair, the rugby has been bigger and better than ever and has been an absolute treat for me as an avid rugby fan to watch. I feel the best is still to come though both facially and on the pitch! So stay tuned, the pubes are likely to blow your minds over the coming weeks.

Written by Matthew Murray            

Super Rugby Performers

At almost the halfway mark of this year’s Super Rugby competition it is only fitting to recognise the players that have been truly outstanding.

Let’s start with the obvious, Sonny-Bill “SBW” Williams. Who in their right mind can ignore the impact this beast has had on not only Super Ruby, but rugby union as a whole? He has burst onto the scene giving consistently epic performances week in and week out. He has been one of the many factors contributing to the Crusaders’ potent backline and has broken the line more times in his first few games than Bryan Habana has caught the ball this season. SBW has trademarked the pass out the tackle and just oozes coolness that everyone wants to be a part of. Who wouldn’t want to be SBW??

Another player who has to be mentioned for his consistently good form is Adam Thomson. He has been the workhorse behind the Highlanders’ impressive performance this year and the team can thank him for not having their usual place on the log, just ahead of the Lions and Cheetahs. Thomson seems to turn over the ball more often than not and is believed to be the cousin of the greased up deaf guy from Family Guy as a result of how easily he seems to squirm out of tackles and brush off defenders.

A little dark horse player for me has been Sarel Pretorius. Despite being in the worst team of the competition, he seems to perform well every week and has brought his less than inspiring team close to victories in many instances. Although the Cheetahs find themselves at the bottom of the log (for a change) Sarel has impressed me immensely and I believe he would be even more effective in a team that could actually win a game.

An unsung hero and possibly the best lock in Australian rugby at the moment is Sam Wykes. He is a hard worker and strong ball carrier; often seen breaking the line. He also possesses the skills of a backline player and as a result has set up many tries when not scoring them himself. Although he looks like the long lost son of Tarzan, I think this man has a bright future ahead of him but as long as “cue ball” Nathan Sharpe is in the mix, he is going to struggle to persuade the selectors. With that being said I think he would be a good selection for the upcoming World Cup squad.

Ok, I know this is a bit of an obvious choice and an extremely biased one because of my manly love for this player but I struggle to see how people don’t think Drew Mitchell is the best all round rugby player at the moment. He is hard working, a strong ball carrier and has gas to burn! He, for me, is the only wing in the world who constantly finds himself in the centre and at first receiver on a number of moves resulting in his high score tally. Drew can score a try from anywhere and out of nothing and despite people saying that he just looks like a prick, I would do a lot to meet Drew…. A LOT!

A player who has had limited opportunity but seems to capitalise every time is the New Zealand- born Mike Harris. He is unfortunate because of the situation at the Reds where they have a lot of players who have cemented themselves in permanent positions, resulting in Harris being shuffled around the backline like Frans Steyn. However, he seems to be convincing in every position. I would love to see Harris settle into a position and get a lot of game time. I think he is a creative player and can bring a lot to the type of rugby the Reds play.

My last player to mention has to be to Willem Alberts. I know I have an extremely bias view of him because I support the Sharks, but you cannot deny that he is having one hell of a season. With his bullocking runs that seem to take out at least 5 players at a time and his guns that are as big as many people thighs, he has created a lot of opportunities for the Sharks on which to capitalise especially on attack. Although he has managed to drop the ball over the line a few times because of the absence of someone to run over, he still has a good try tally for the season and he isn’t done just yet…

Super Rugby has to be the best time of most guys’ lives and the performances of the players mentioned above ensure that this remains the most highly acclaimed rugby competition on the planet.


Written by guest author: Paul Sprenger  

Am I not a patriot? Let's Decide

It has become commonplace for criticism to flow quite freely in my direction during this time of year. This is due to my rather unorthodox allegiances in Super Rugby. After or before the Sharks have played in a given weekend it would not be odd to see me wondering around in my yellow and black Hurricanes kit. I will often feel even more compelled to wear this jersey if the 'Canes happen to be playing the Bulls or the Stormers. The reason for this is that I simply like the Hurricanes and have absolutely no positive feelings for any of the other South African teams, in particular the men from behind the Boerewors Curtain. As a result I am often subject to such comments as "but how can you not support the South African teams? You are so unpatriotic." Despite the new format this is surprisingly still a common perception. Irregardless of this I still don't feel the obligation that many others do to support other teams from South Africa and I wish to explain my reasoning here.

First, the other South African teams (whom I shall collectively refer to as the Shitheads) have little to no appeal whatsoever. This group comprises the likes of the Lions and the Cheetahs, who continuously prop up the rest of the log; the Stormers, who do have an element of 'cool' in their favour but are a big rival of the Sharks; and of course the Bulls. Honestly, I haven't the slightest inkling of a positive thought for the Bulls. They play an unenterprising game of rugby, always have horrible jerseys and are filled with players that I don't like. Wynand Olivier has to be one of the biggest knobs around, not to mention Gerhard 'end of the overlap' van den Heever. Just compare Olivier and Jaco Pretorius with Sonny Bill and Fruean. These guys are just so much cooler. "But so many Springboks play for the Bulls". I don't care. Most of them are playing so badly that  according to form they should be 3rd or 4th choice in their respective positions at best and besides that you don't see an English, Chelsea fan cheering Wayne Rooney on when United play against Real Madrid in the Champions League.  

One finds little consolation looking at the other teams. The Lions, as fully described in an earlier article, are truly useless and watching them is actually quite offensive with their lack of any technical ability. They don't have a single cool player and still have Andre Pretorius in their squad. The Cheetahs aren't much better and fail to offer much to get one going early on a Saturday morning. I would honestly wake up, fully hungover, at 5am to watch the Blues play but the Cheetahs, not so much. I dislike the Stormers for a different reason. They are one of the Sharks' main rivals and I want them to lose for reasons that benefit my team and for those that don't. This past week of results could be described as ideal for me with the Sharks winning and the Stormers, as well as each of the other Shitheads, losing but yet it was described as "a disappointing weekend for South African supporters" by Supersport Blitz. It was a disappointing weekend if you are a fan of one of the Shitheads but for the Sharks it resulted in them picking up points where their rivals did not.

These leads me to the point in the argument that I struggle to believe holds any flaws. The simplest way to qualify for the playoffs is to win one's division and in order to do so one needs to get more points than the other teams in the division. That means that I sure as shit want the Stormers and the Bulls (we can forget about the other two because, seriously, they don't offer much competition) to lose every game they play and there is nothing wrong with that. These teams aren't representing South Africa. They represent their own respective union about whom I really don't care. When their players pull on the green and gold I will be fully behind them but when they don the claw-marked red of the Lions or the other nonsense that Gilbert churns out each year I want to see them lose.

Don't misunderstand me though. My intention was not to bash the other South African teams, although I quite enjoy doing so, in favour of the Sharks and the above reasoning is fully applicable to any team one may support. If you support the Bulls and when your focus is finally off deciding which steak to buy for the braai, your concern should be for your team and not for the other South African sides.

Frankly, with guys like Rene Ranger, Luke McAllister, Dan Carter and the like playing for the New Zealand teams it is quite difficult to compete in the 'coolness' factor but our guys don't even register on the board. Hennie Daniller or Iceman; Bjorn Basson or Lelia Masaga? That is about all that really need be said.

Super Rugby Preview: Week 8

The Super 15 is in full flight with the log starting to reflect how it might look come the end of the tournament. Each of the 3 nations has one team in the top three and one in the wildcard places. Round 8 features three teams having their bye; these being the Blues, Chiefs and the Rebels, so we have one less match to watch this weekend which is somewhat unfortunate.

We begin in Dunedin with the Highlanders taking on the road-weary Cheetahs. The boys from Bloem sadly find themselves bottom of the log but have been better than this suggests. They took the Blues very close last week but will battle against the Highlanders this time around who are a much-improved outfit this season. They seem like a team that knows how to win and have developed the much sort-after ability to grind out results when they haven't necessarily played too well. With Kade Poki and the boys the 'Landers should be too much for the bottom-feeding Cheetahs.

First up on Saturday we herald the return of the Crusaders who host the Bulls. The Bulls took a solid win against the badly out of form Hurricanes last week and will derive confidence from that uncompromising result. Such is the coolness of head or perhaps lack of brain cells of Morne Steyn that he will happily kick drop goals all day amongst the chorus of boos that the 'Canes crowd dished out if it sees his team take the victory. The Crusaders are without their kingpin Dan Carter but have so much talent outside him that it would be foolish to think they will, as a result of his absence, fail to keep up their impressive form. The Crusaders will be too good for die Bulle.

The Brumbies host the Hurricanes in Canberra in a match that both sides desperately need to win, even at this early stage, in order to keep their playoff hopes alive. The Brumbies' interesting combinations with Giteau, Toomua and Lealiifano interchanging positions of fly-half, fullback and centre will keep the 'Canes guessing but I feel that they would be better off sticking to one spot each and actually doing that job well. I've said it every week and I'll say it again but how, with so much class, are the Hurricanes performing so poorly? They have restored Aaron Cruden to the starting line-up which is a much overdue move but they will need more than personnel changes to spark up their season. This one will be hard to call but I'm backing the 'Canes.

The 'Tahs travel to Perth to play the Force in Saturday's lunch-time kick-off in what promises to be an interesting game. The Waratahs are finding their feet a bit after winning two from two but still don't seem to have fully recovered from the hammering they took in Nelson. Kurtley Beale had a composed match at 10 last week and should get a bit more space to attack against the more open Force. James O'Connor moves to fullback for the Force to accommodate Willie Ripia who makes his long-awaited debut after his move from the Hurricanes. Fullback is O'Connor's best position in my opinion and he will be very important if the Force are to stand a chance in this one. The 'Tahs will probably be a bit too much as without Pocock and Hodgson the Force will struggle to assert themselves at the breakdown with enough 'force' (haha).

The Stormers host the Reds at Newlands in another exciting match. The Cape Town lads have been fantastic so far but will be wary of the dangers the Reds pose. Quade, Digby and the like are ever-threatening on attack and will have to be on top form to scythe through this Stormers defence. Peter Grant has been in immaculate form but as Lambie is topping our poll for the Springbok number 10 shirt he clearly still has to offer more. The Reds have performed well so far but their lack of physicality in the forwards will see them come undone here.

The weekend ends off with Sharks against the Lions at Kings Park. I should probably have waited until after this match, assuming a Sharks win, to have posted my somewhat unflattering article on the Lions but what is done is done and I will have an added incentive for wanting the boys to take a win. The Sharks are on a bad run but still have the quality to win this  match. The Lions ran the Reds close last week but the Sharks won't offer them as much space to run into due to the Durban boys probably adopting a more conservative game plan themselves. The Sharks will need some life from their uninspiring backline and hopefully playing in his 200th game will give Stefan Terblanche the kick in the arse he needs. This should be a home win.

Scrums: A Royal Cock Up!

Could someone who knows what, precisely, is going on within a scrum please inform us of the rules because from my viewpoint there do not appear to be any. I don’t think even the most gifted of referees know how or when to award penalties for scrum infringements. In my mind, the scrum is one aspect of the game of rugby that requires a serious overhaul in terms of the way in which they proceed within a game. However, this has not stopped the knobs at the top within the IRB from doing their utmost to make the scrum a matter of serious contention these days.

What happened to the days when okes like Sean Fitzpatrick and the ‘Bullet’ Dalton would rock up at the mark of the scrum and next thing you know they had engaged and the engine room would then be pumping over time? The set piece known as the scrum, would be over in a matter of seconds and if for some reason the scrum went down it would be reset. Nowadays, a barrage of tedious rules (all of which are grey areas in themselves) play on the minds of the big men up front. As the engagement occurs each prop from each team is watched like a hawk by the officiating referee, which I cannot understand because he too has no clue what will happen next. Essentially, the crux of the matter is that scrums are one massive cock up, and the scrum is, in fact, ruining the flow of rugby matches these days. My question is why.

Well, the IRB have insisted on safety and fair scrummaging and both of these factors have led to the introduction of the well known phrase, that us as regular rugby viewers have become all far to familiar with, “Touch, Pause…Engage!” (Or, “Toech, Poes…Engage! If you are Jaco Peyper). The introduction of this rule at scrum time, in the eyes of the IRB, has allowed front rows to be more parallel at impact (allowing greater safety) and also allowed for a far fairer contest up front. But in my mind this is all a waste of time and this regulation should be put out to pasture. Not only does this rule often lead to early engagement infringements, which results in a free kick or even a penalty, but it also chews up large quantities of time during the match itself. Some games these days are registering up to 10 minutes total during the game wasted between reset scrums due poor engagement rules or miss timing between front rows. The whole thing is a farce! In my mind the game should spend as little time doing the boring stuff, like scrumming, and let the boys in the backline play some real rugby; rugby that has flow and entertainment value to it! Rugby like the match seen at Twickenham two weeks ago between the Sharks and Crusaders! That’s entertainment. Watching some unathlectic fat boys pack down repeatedly over the space of 5 minutes makes me rather want to watch bowls then rugby. The IRB need to reevaluate the scrum.

But wait, just as you thought I was done ranting there is more… What about the rules beyond a successful engagement. There don’t appear to be any. Referees just appear to alternate the free kick count between each team on the field like giving sweets to a child, “One for you, and one for you…. Oh, oh and one for you too!” Its ridiculous, the only rule with any consistency to it is the breaking of ones bind, and even that is not picked up on one hundred percent of the time. The rules are a joke and we need more consistency here. Stuff safety, these okes have decided to play this game and are aware of the dangers it presents and as such they do the necessary body training to prevent against disasters. So in my mind we should just go back to the good old days of engaging at a whim and let the game go on even if the scrum does have an infringement or two going on within it!

The Lesser-Gifted Lions

After a promising end to the Currie Cup much has been expected from the Lions in this season's Super 15. For the majority of New Zealanders and Australians who didn't see any of the 2010 Currie Cup it would be quite safe to assume that they would be shrugging their shoulders in bemusement at the talk the Jo'burg team was dishing out. Sure, they now have a little fat flyhalf and a flanker who they've seen before in the Hangover but what have the Lions actually changed?

From the outset the answer is nothing. Running onto the field with a kit as horrible as theirs must have something to do with how crap the Lions are. How can the team expect to build up their fan base to include at least the people who live in their city with such a repulsive jersey? As the average fan is more concerned about the team's play than what shirt they do it in, one would forgive them of this if they performed a little better.

Unfortunately for them, they haven't been able to compensate so. Their defence has simply been too weak. Leaking tries at will, the Lions always have an up-hill battle and when playing teams who aren't as porous on defence, as they do each week, they will continue to struggle. Coach John Mitchell has called for his side to focus more and harden up on defence saying that it will be the "catalyst to our attack". Aside from competing as the most insightful comment of the year, this really does seem to be a little far-fetched. To put it bluntly: the Lions just don't have the quality. I am all for running rugby  but, sorry for them, wins are not necessarily attained through scoring tries; more poignantly in their case: trying to do so at all costs. The Lions do not have the players to play the attacking game they are so desperate play and simultaneously offer a more miserly defence.

A team with this sort of goal needs balance. This doesn't even mean that the entire team needs to balance it's style but they need a few players who offer them stability amongst the chaos. Mitchell finally seems to have realised this after he chose Andre Pretorius ahead of Elton Jantjies to start against the Reds but despite his usual self was quite poor with the boot. The signing of Springbok Butch James was exactly what the Lions needed but he will only be available in May.  James will give the Lions a strong first five-eighth channel on defence and his well-rounded attacking qualities will give them an added dimension. He has excellent distribution, a fine tactical-kicking game and most definitely isn't afraid to take the ball into contact when need be. In addition, playing in England has made Butch a much more reliable goal-kicker.

Whilst seeming to have nothing but insults for the Lions they do have some players worth noting. Jaco Taute has impressed but for whatever reason doesn't seem to have a permanent place in the team. Their loose forwards have looked quite good with Joshua Strauss having a fine debut season. Warren Whiteley has aroused interest but in my opinion almost typifies what is wrong with the Lions' team. He is good in space and a talented ball-runner but lacks the physicality and the defensive qualities to be a truly-excellent no. 8. Elton Jantjies is one worth mentioning. The flyhalf who first appeared on the provincial scene in last year's Currie Cup is simply too erratic and inconsistent to be playing at this level; at least for now. He is a young lad and it is important that his confidence doesn't get shot at this early stage of his career. So typical is it of the South African public and media to hype up a talented young player and to shut him down when he fails to perform on the big scene. Whilst saying this I still wish to add that he has been monumentally poor so far and cannot be playing flyhalf for the Lions at the moment if they expect any success.

South African rugby finds itself in a fairly ominous situation with the majority of the current incumbents quite out of form. The name-factor that has seen almost all of these 'experienced' players continually keep their spots despite poor form will be no-good in this important World Cup year. What the country needs is young players coming through and challenging the 'big-dogs' to up their game and deserve their place in the team. Despite all natural feelings I want these Lions players to perform, for this reason, and the potential is undoubtedly there in quite a few of them. Many of these guys probably have come through a bit too late anyway to challenge for a Springbok spot but the importance of good depth is insurmountable. Their current game-plan isn't doing it for them so let us hope that the Lions can pull it together but it may need some sacrifice of what they hold so dear.

A Wallaby Flyhalf Dilemma

Being a Wallaby selector at the moment cannot be an easy job. With so much talent and so little talent being scattered around the desert that is Australia, the process of selecting the right combination of players to represent the Wallabies at this years Tri Nations and more importantly the RWC 2011, is not going to be easy. For this article, however, I will be focusing on an area of the pitch where Aussie rugby has an abundance of talent and as such it can be said that the Aussie selectors find themselves in good quandary, but a quandary never-the-less. So who are the candidates for the Wallaby number 10 jumper?… 1) James O’Connor 2) Matt Giteau 3) Quade Cooper 4) Berrick Barnes.

I will start with the crazily- talented but erratic thief from the Gold Coast, Quade Cooper. The Reds have slipped under the radar somewhat this season but have managed to emerge from this position as strong title contenders, and while last season this position on the log could have been attributed to the twinkle toed talents of one Quade Cooper, this year has been slightly different. The combination of Genia and Cooper sparkled last year, but this year the Red’s success can be put down more to a solid team effort rather than just the efforts of a few exceptional individuals. Having said all of this, Cooper has matured as a player and it could pose a significant challenge to the others vying for this spot to depose him from the mantle as incumbent to the Wallaby number 10 jersey.

Matt Giteau has been a beacon of light in an otherwise underperforming Brumbies team, having said this its not that hard to stick out like a soar thumb in a team filled with shit heads. So what can be said then, are his performances actually very good or is he simply being made to look better than he really is due to the walking misfits that surround him? I think the latter, but that is not the crux of the matter. With the low levels of talent in the centre birth in Australian rugby currently, I believe Giteau’s talents would be best used at the inside centre position. There his quick feet and his willingness to take the ball to the line could be exploited far more effectively then if he is played at the pivot position. His kicking has been below par too this season and as such a more consistent figure is required to play at first five eighth.

Berrick Barnes. BORING! I can’t say much about Berrick Barnes because every time I watch him I tend to develop an urge to sleep. He seems a solid enough player, but the Aussie backline has always been one filled with raw ability and as such I don’t see why this formula should be changed.

Many of you would now be shouting at your computer, saying that a consistent and solid performer is what is needed to win a World Cup. But in the Wallaby case, this is not so! Poor imagination in the centres dictates this. A man with flair and vision is required at number 10 for the Aussies this year, and I know just the person… James O’Connor has stuck his hand up as the fore-runner for Wallaby outside half this season. Based on what I have heard, the boy is a source of trouble off the pitch, and I have to say my cock-ometer does read a ten when I see that pansy lookalike hit the field… So you now know that it is hard for me to say this but it is warranted. He is magic on the field, his vision and ability to read the game, his outlandish side stepping ability and his ability to command a game have made him the stand out man in the flyhalf position in Super Rugby this year. He looks the complete player to me, and with all the hype coming from across the pond about Patrick Lambie, James O’Connor must surely be grabbing the limelight now. He has also mastered the kicking duties, with only Peter Grant having a better record from the spot this season. If you are asking me, this kid is dockable in my mind; he is reaching Rene Ranger status for me, and that is saying something.