There's no one like Jean

If eighteen months ago I was told that losing Jean de Villiers for the 2014 June internationals would be a major setback for the Springboks I would have politely advised the teller that in the same vain it is a major setback that Mark Andrews has not made himself available for selection. De Villiers looked well beyond international level but praise must be given where it is due. Heyneke Meyer showed faith in de Villiers and was richly rewarded. Not only he, but Alistair Coetzee has benefitted from a rejuvenated player that is back to his signature-celebrating best (thank God that seems to have passed).

The issue his absence presents is not only who will don the number 12 jersey for the Springboks in the upcoming run of fixtures but who will lead the side. The Boks do appear safe for cover at centre as Sharks lock Stephan Lewies has been called up in de Villiers' stead. Now Lewies hasn't featured at centre for the Sharks this season nor has he even been allowed to hold a tackle bag for the backs in practice but we at ReRugby have an inside source that can guarantee that Lewies was once seen sucking air out on the wing during a game of touch in grade 5. Lewies has also been known to frequent Gateway Centre in Umhlanga so all looks well.

Although the June internationals are hardly pivotal in terms of results and silverware they prove a useful gauge for the Rugby Championship and, given the proximity of the IRB World Cup, take on an extra importance this year. South African rugby supporters aren't the most forgiving bunch at the best of times and Mr Meyer will know that anything but a 100% win record on home soil will be a failure. So, who just are the contenders to lead out the Bokke? Heyneke Meyer has dispelled the option of rotating the captaincy and will look to give the job to the same player for all four matches where the Springboks will feature against the World XV, Wales on two occasions, and Scotland. Meyer has also assured us humble public that whoever is chosen will be replaced by de Villiers upon his return so there is not necessarily any long-term view on the choice.

The first option proves quite a conundrum: Victor Matfield. Yes, it is true that Matfield who was dazzling the South African public with his commentating acumen this very year is not only back in the Springbok fold but is a frontrunner to lead the Bokke out onto the field during these internationals. My God! Sure, the Boks are slightly Kate Mossish (a bit thin) on the locking front, especially after Pieter-Steph du Toit's injury, but Victor Matfield? In his defence (not about his defence), he hasn’t actually been that bad for the Bulls this season. He leads the Super Rugby stats for lineout wins which is an enviable and desirous stat to have for a lock to have but beanpole prowess shouldn't be the only item in a Springbok second-rower's bag of tricks. His general play in the loose and around the fringes, as he has demonstrated over the years, shows an aversion to the aggressive stuff that would make Tinkerbelle look like Achilles. There is no question that Matfield brings unrivaled experience and leadership to the team and does appear to have maintained at least a steady level of fitness in his old age but is he a player of Springbok quality? Arguably what he brings in terms of experience and know-how is what the team may need given the high number of young players in the squad. Can he add this from the bench or just in training? Yes, but Meyer will want on-field leadership from a player who will start each match. Matfield may just be the option.

Bismarck du Plessis is a strong choice. Bissy has captained the Sharks well this season and has maintained his physical, domineering self with the added responsibility. He has been known to lapse into a state of blind rage but that is probably still directed at his agent for allowing him to appear in the 'pump by die dam pump' advert. In my mind, Bismarck is South Africa's best player. Adriaan Strauss is good, yes, but Bissy is simply too strong a force. Strauss has also been put forward as a possibility to lead the Boks but in truth the likelihood of Meyer rotating the two may actually rule them both out of the running. Bismarck is an option to take over the captaincy from de Villiers after next year's World Cup but it appears Meyer's mind is fixed on the short term for now.

Heyneke Meyer has also put forward the names of Schalk Burger and Duane Vermuelen as options. No disrespect meant but Schalk hasn't played enough to warrant a spot in the starting fifteen and arguably in the squad at all. I don’t have a major issue with him cracking the nod for the wider squad but there are far superior loose forwards in the country at the moment who should rule him out of the run-on fifteen. Duane Vermuelen is surely a no-go. Although he hasn't really had the best Super Rugby season, he will be the favourite to start at eight for the Boks, but captain? I can’t see it happening.

In my mind, Bismarck is the long term replacement for de Villiers. He won’t present the same kind of selection issues that plagued John Smit and is growing as a leader with the Sharks but for now that won’t help him. The way things appear, Meyer will pick Matfield. It's not a terrible call. He is almost sure to start and given Meyer's primary aim to get his team out of the inbound tour unscathed, old Vic gives him a strong figure around whom to build his team. Quite frankly I don't care, just so long as it keeps Matfield away from a microphone. 

Now is Not the time for Panic

We're approaching closing time for the round-robin phase of Super Rugby and the time is nigh to grab that last brandy you so desperately need and finally lower those standards as the challenge for play-off spots really heats up. Only the South African conference looks sewn up with the remaining two tighter than a Scotsman at bill time. This coming weekend is the last before we head into the June break and with three rounds remaining after the resumption of Super Rugby, this round 16 will prove pivotal for teams looking to head into the post-international window without having too big a mountain to climb.

The Sharks, barring a Liverpool-style meltdown, have the South African conference in the bank and will, with a win at home this weekend against the Stormers, take a lead of at least 10 points into the final two fixtures. Despite the Stormers great run of form, Jake White will be confident that no matter how close the Stormers get to victory, Michael Rhodes will punch someone at the most in/opportune time to kill off any sort of hope of an upset. The Bulls present the only challenge to the Sharks' position at the top of the pile but will realistically be hoping for a big push to secure a playoff spot. Victor and co. have a very winnable fixture at Ellis Park against the Lions and will look to topple Warren Whitely's men who are probably just desperate for this season to end with some dignity remaining intact. The Cheetahs have a bye but the only impact that will have on the log is that their points difference won’t plummet by another 30 plus points. Naka Drostke's charges make Jannie Du Plessis look impregnable on defence and Heyneke Meyer will be hoping Willie Le Roux hasn't started what could be a habit for providing assists for his opposition. That tap-back for Tagicakibau was a true clustercuss.

The New Zealand conference is up for grabs as only the Blues look out of contention. No one side has been able to maintain a consistent run of form to pull ahead and all seem hell-bent on taking the race for number one spot to the death. The Crusaders (with their fighting Uruk-Hai Nemani Nadolo) and Hurricanes (with their own version in the form of Julian Savea) are the form teams but the Highlanders and Chiefs have the quality to nip in a few important wins. Let's not forget that the Chiefs have won the two previous competitions and with Aaron Cruden back they are not to be discounted. Injuries have proved key in this year's competition and if the 'Canes can keep their players fit it will be a big surprise if they don’t keep the momentum going and at least secure a play-off berth.

It's the battle of the big hair in Australia and despite not boasting any big-name crops coming into the comp, the Waratahs have stepped up with the flowing Greek-style locks of Michael Hooper and Rob Horne proving too much for old-school home fitness video style Nick Cummins of the Force and even the much acclaimed 80s pornstar Henry Speight of the Brumbies. The boys from Sydney have been in fine nick of late and with Issy Folau and Kurtley playing as they are, anything but top spot looks unlikely. The 'Tahs don't have the easiest run-in but with the even nature of Super Rugby in 2014 nor does anyone else. The Force have been a real treat in 2014 and I mean how busy are they?! They have taken on the underdog mantra of their on-field mascot the Badge to really surprise the bigger names this year. Their excellent season is amplified when compared with the Reds' dismal campaign who have stumbled and goose-stepped their way to the bottom of the combined log as at the end of round 15. James Horwill will hope his team can pick up a few wins to avoid the same come the end of the season and will look to overcome the Rebels to save a little face down under. 

If I had only one wish...

Every coach of every team in every sport has a wishlist. I'm not talking about the kind of wishlist that James Small has with which colour knuckle-duster he wants for Christmas. The wishlist to which I refer is for players, of course. Irrespective of how well a team may be performing or how complete a squad may appear, there is always room for improvement. Aging players need understudies and fresh faces need a Victor Matfield to stunt the growth of their nascent careers. In the spirit of ReRugby's start-stop existence we come back to you now as Super Rugby nears the halfway point in the round robin stage. As a religious festival approaches lets look to the real meaning of such times and think of things we want for ourselves. Let's have a look-see in which position each of the fifteen teams could most use strengthening. For once, I'll resist talking about New Zealand and begin at home in South Africa (not that anyone here will care to read about anything that doesn't start with Oscar , Nkandla or Scarlett Johansson naked).

We'll start in pretty Cape Town where the Newlands faithful haven't even needed fear of a fire to prevent them from placing their rear ends down in their seats. Where to start? Good God! Where a team such as the Stormers is performing as poorly as they are one is automatically drawn toward criticising the leadership on and off the pitch. As much as it pains me, Jean de Villiers cannot take the blame here. He must have taken a few tips from Ryan Giggs in career longevity but for the sake of any brother old JDV may have I would hope it to be the yoga rather than the alternative. Alistair Coetzee is leading the Stormers down a dark path but management aside, you can't help but feel that a bit of dynamism around the fringes is lacking. The Stormers have never been the most exciting lot about but that's fine. Where they have failed this term is imposing themselves and allowing a bit more momentum to carry their attacks forward. Duane Vermuelen is meant to be the big ball carrier but he has lacked form. One wish, if I was Alistair Coetzee (and thank God I'm not because I don't fancy unemployment) is the not so unfamiliar face of Francois Louw. Flow is a fan-favourite and has not been adequately replaced since moving overseas. One player will not change the Stormers position any great deal but his power and disruptive abilities at the breakdown would help stunt opposition attacks and allow a bit more time and space for the backline to... uh.. ya.

Next up is the Cheetahs. Naka Drotske's men have been a serious let-down this season. After such a remarkable resurgence last year, the Cheetahs failed to kick on in the Currie Cup and have been unable to solidify what is ultimately a porous and ill-disciplined defensive unit. There can be no real complaints about their forward pack as they boast one of the most impressive back rows and arguably the second best hooker in the competition. Cheetahs games are always entertaining and you can always count on them to allow for a dramatic comeback, no matter what lead they may have. The question though, is what to do with a talented and unruly animal. Do you try and tame it or let it run wild? Professional rugby is about balance and at the moment the Cheetahs are lacking a touch of that. Their attack is too eager to head to the sideline and a big, gainline crossing, assault-charge-having, PTSD recovering centre could help keep things a bit close and not allow their defence to get too spread every time they lose possession. Someone like Francois Steyn ticks the first two boxes only, as far as I am aware, but oh ya he plays for the Sharks.

'Shithead': a term once used to refer to the Lions so majestically and affectionately on this plane of literary grace known as ReRugby . Nowadays, that may perhaps seem a little out of place. Their start to their campaign has been nothing short of miraculous. A last-minute win against the Cheetahs was one thing but victories against the Stormers, Blues and Reds left all and sundry in a state of absolute incredulity. I think even Warren Brosnihan may have run out of superlatives for the Lions' start to this campaign. Marnitz Boshoff has proved a steady supply of points and a good distributor and kicker out of hand. Elton is looking more and more likely to be off overseas in the face of such consistency shown by Boshoff as it looks like the fat man's days at Ellis Park are numbered. Faf de Klerk has been a useful addition but where the Lions could use a bit extra is in their front row. Hooker has shown itself to be a vital position in recent years with strong, mobile players able to make huge impacts in big matches. Good old Willie Wepenaar is one thing but look, he has not only seen too many winters but is just something of a, well, shithead.

Ah the Bulls. Possibly my worst and favourite topic of conversation. After last year's purple debacle one would probably have thought the worst to be over. Sadly not. Never bet against the master of the fashion faux pas: the Dutchman (no offence meant. The previous comment was a direct insult but considering the fact that I said no offence it means that what I said is now fine). The camouflage kit that the Bulls have got this year is nothing short of a travesty. I never thought it possible that I could imagine hating Jaco van der Westhuisen more swinging from the poles after the 2007 Super Rugby final (less said about that the better) but if he were to be wearing this abomination then quite frankly, I think I may have imploded. Oh right, we are talking about their players. Sorry. Screw that, change the kit.

The Sharks.

End.